Trevor was my Valentine

Amidst all the excitement of the new camera, I almost forgot to post about our awesome Valentines Day and my birthday! Seriously, the things I do...

I wanted to surprise Trevor with something, so I thought I'd mess with his car while he was at work on Saturday. I got out there, 4 giant garbage bags of blown up balloons in my car, trying to be all sneaky, and he was SITTING IN HIS CAR! What?! So I had to hurry and drive away hoping he didn't see me. I sat in the parking lot across the street until he finally went inside. Yeesh, Trevor.

So I stuffed his car full of balloons and crumpled tissue papier (that's paper, but spelled fancier for fancier people), and taped cut out hearts all over inside. It was awesome :) I also included a giant box of miscellaneous candy that I knew he'd have to bring home to share with me. I found these super cute stuffed monkeys that I couldn't resist too, and other assorted valentiney items such as a giant lollypop, boxed chocolates, and roses.

Then when Trevor got off work (which was pretty late, grr), we grabbed the bags I'd packed and headed off to the Little America for a night of relaxation. We picked up some Chinese take-out from David's Kitchen on the way. GOOOOD stuff. I took pictures of the room, but they were after we'd already ruined it all so they aren't that pretty, haha. Just imagine a super rich classy room with a giant tub and king sized bed. We had sparkling cider and chocolates while wearing those fancy robes they lay out for you. We took a bath together in the enormo tub and used all these crazy scrubs and scrubby items I found at the store. We vegged out and watched Zombieland and ate Oreos and Baked Lays till 2AM. Checked out at noon, had the breakfast buffet at JB's, and $20 in tips and parking later we were heading back home. Aah, so nice :)

Sunday night we had a family dinner with Trevor's family for my birthday and it was so nice to have everyone together! We had spaghetti (made with Prego--of course, because it's the best), and salad and garlic bread. Yum :) And we had one of my favorite kinds of cake (that Trevor hates, so we never have), party cake with confetti frosting! UGH, so good :) Birthdays are awesome.

Like I said before, I wasn't expecting any of the stuff that people got for me :) Among the new camera stuff, I also got the "Alton Brown's Gear for Your Kitchen" book and some much needed new kitchen brushes, and a bunch of other stuff. Wow, birthdays really ARE awesome!

Tomorrow night I'm going out to dinner with my family to celebrate my birthday and my brother's birthday at the same time. I always love being able to get together with everyone, and it's almost mandatory because it's someone's birthday. More people always show up when it's a birthday. And this one will be TWO birthdays.

Tomorrow I'm also starting the photography class and taking some good friends' pictures downtown. I get to use my new camera for the first time! I'm kind of nervous and super excited at the same time. I never really know how they're going to turn out until I get home after the shoot and take a look. And the new camera is so much more sensitive to movement and the particular settings, and I'm not going to have very much free time in the next 8 weeks because I've booked so many free sessions... ugh, I can feel the heartburn already.

...breathe...

It's going to be good. And I WILL get at least one good picture tomorrow. And I will have all week to edit them. And then I get to start taking pictures of lots of different kinds of people every Saturday. It's going to be a crazy crazy 2 months. But I'm SO excited :)

New Camera!

Wow :) Trevor got me a brand new DSLR camera for my birthday! It's a Canon EOS Rebel XS, and it came with an 18-55mm zoom lens. I thought I was going to have to wait at least 6 more months to get one, but he totally jumped on board before I did and just GOT IT :) It used up 75% of our savings, but who really needs savings, right? Emergencies don't happen. Especially when you have a fancy new camera to sway the forces-that-be to your favor, right?

Oh but honestly, I wish I cared, but I really DON'T care that we'll have no savings for a while. I love my camera and all that it brings way too much!

Trevor also got me a camera bag and a new 8 GB high speed memory card. We went and picked out a fancier camera bag with more pockets and straps, but now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure I like it more. The first one is colored and kind of girly :) It's smaller but still sturdy. It has all the space I'll need for a while. The second one is NICE. It's professional and has compartments everywhere and it's big. AND I can strap my tripod onto it... Oh the hard choices I'm burdened with... ;)

Here's the big bag. Totally cool (although, perhaps a little overboard...). I don't have a picture of the other bag, but just imagine a totally cute smaller bag:

Now my timeline for everything has to be all re-thought. I can start getting more serious about photography way sooner than I thought! I'm still going to be taking another small photography course starting this weekend, which will be nice since I'll be able to re-learn everything with my new camera! But once I've familiarized myself with all the settings and whatnot, and gotten a few months of picture-taking under my belt, I can at least start breaking even on my costs for taking the photos, and maybe even make some money some time soon :) Whatever happens though, I'm just happy I can take pictures. I love the feeling! And I hope I can start giving more people pictures that make them happy.

I was mentioning to Trevor last night, that now my problems have just shifted to wanting more lenses and more kickin' accessories! Haha!

This weekend I'm going to be working on scheduling more groups, couples, and dude photos. And also editing some more older pictures to put up on the Facebook page.

P.S. I am wearing leggings today. It feels fitting to be trying something new with my clothes since I'm sort of exploring a new side of myself in other ways too!

Holy Canoli!

So HO-LY. My photography stuff has exploded in front of my eyes in the last 2 days! I think I can still breathe though :)

Pretty much, I decided that I wanted to make a Facebook page for my pictures so it would seem a little more professional. I wasn't sure, since it's just me, and it's not like I'm making money or anything. But I did it. And I was pretty much bombarded with support :) I have 1 shoot scheduled for February, 5 shoots scheduled for March, and 3 more in the works for later. The majority of those are individuals, so I'll need to get in a few more families. But I think this is going to be SO helpful for me! I'm looking forward to different kinds of people, and different settings.

And Trevor's family got me some frickin' awesome photography accessories for my birthday! So now I'm pretty much doing it for real now. I got a tripod and some light reflectors. They are my first pieces of photography gear that are legitimately mine, haha :) And they mean that I am officially DOING THIS.

Lately I've just been thinking about how much I really enjoy the actual taking of the pictures. It just fits me :) I feel like it is challenging but I can find the groove pretty easily. It's neat to be able to focus in on how I see things.

Yay! I'm excited for the next few months! And hopefully I can fix my memory cards, haha!

Brandy's Pictures

Wow, so my most recent photoshoot with Brandy was probably the best one yet. I had a major fiasco with my memory cards wigging out (that I still haven't solved yet...) but I was able to make my old-school 128MB memory card work eventually. I'm used to having at least a gig... that's like, 1/3 of the space!!! I felt really crammed for space because I could only take 75 pictures instead of the usual 150. I know that sounds like a lot of pictures, but I really try to exhaust the options so I can have as many photos as possible turn out good. When I get impatient or run out of space, I end up having to waste pictures because the one shot I took in a pose has their eyes closed or something.

Anywho, I really thought Brandy's style would work best in a rough environment, so I went back to the Sugar Factory area in West Jordan. We explored more of the back of the lot, so we got some way cool pictures. Brandy had this super cute little black dress, and a couple other outfits that had great colors. It was nice to have the variety :)

Brandy's pictures gave me the chance to improve some of the things I've been wanting to work on. I'm excited for some more so I can keep learning. The editing is getting easier and faster--even though I still have A TON to learn.

Brooks Family Photos

My brother let me take pictures of him and his family a couple of weeks ago, and I totally spaced putting them on my blog! How could I?

I think my niece is the cutest thing :) She definitely knows she's getting her picture taken. I want to take some more pictures of them when the weather is better and it's not so freezing outside. It was hard to have a kid be cold. Plus she was just getting over having a cold, and had a runny runny nose. I definitely want to take some more when it's a little warmer!

Blood Oranges

Hiya,

Last night I made up some cool sauce for our fish! I saw some blood oranges at the store last weekend and I immediately knew I could do something cool. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go fish, or go salad, or go chicken with it, but still... I knew.

Just in case you've never heard of a blood orange, I promise I didn't make that name up. They're oranges that are red inside. They're still really orangey tasting, but they're a tiny bit more sour, like a grapefruit--only not disgusting like a grapefruit. They're super pretty too :) I'm sad I didn't take any pictures. Next time.

We've been eating more fish lately because it's good AND good for you if you make it right. And so far I have really enjoyed all the different ways to prepare fish, even if we rarely branch out of salmon, cod, tuna, halibut, you know, the normals.

I squeezed the juice out of one orange, and added it to about 1/4 cup of water mixed with a tablespoon of corn starch, and added 1-2 tablespoons of honey to sweeten it up. (I didn't thicken the sauce before I started cooking, but next time I may try boiling the sauce first and then brushing it on. I think this will give it more of a sticky sauce rather than a sauce that cooks into the fish.) The way I did it last night, I just brushed the juice mixture onto some fresh salmon portions and grilled them in my grill pan with a tablespoon of olive oil. Depending on how thick the fish is, just about 5-7 minutes/side. I added more juice mixture after they cooked part of the way. I served it with rice and salad, and topped the salmon with chunks of more segmented blood orange. I loved it! It felt really fresh.

Then for lunch today I fork-crumbled a leftover salmon portion with a few chunks of orange mixed in, with a tablespoon or 2 of light mayo, and voila! I had a salmon salad to have on Wheat Thins and Thin Crisps. Yum :)

I highly recommend experimenting with fish, AND blood oranges. I think next time I'll try a salad.

Taxes and Getting Older

Bleh :( We have been sick at our house for over a week, and it sucks. I'm just sayin'.

And we found out we owe $2100 in taxes. That stinks too. Apparently that little number on your W4 (you know, that thing you fill out when you get a new job) stands for "exemptions" and not "people." You'd think they'd give you a little bit of layman's definitions or something. I mean, I was only 18 when I filled it out, what can you expect? I'd done a total of 2 tax returns my whole life.

Again: Bleh.

So now, on top of the money the IRS takes from my checks every month, they are taking an extra $55 every month to cover last year's, at a "small interest rate." What is going on?? I'm cool. Right? I'm not ugly. I work at a normal job and don't sell drugs. I'm not rushing into making the population of Utah any larger. I support the economy by going to movies on Fridays and eating out. Shouldn't I get a break or something?? I sure think so. A $2100 break. That's all I'm asking. Really, the only thing that stopped me from throwing a fit was seeing Trevor throw his fit. It wasn't pretty. And I try to be pretty, you know?

I decided to not let it stop us from paying off our credit cards by September though. It's going to suck. Even more than I was thinking. But, in the words of Kristen Humphrey: Whatev. It just means one less date-night or a couple less nights-where-I-get-home-from-work-and-don't-want-to-cook-so-we-eat-out's per month...yes, just. I really don't think the government knows what they're asking of me! Or maybe they DO?! Maybe the president has a secret vendetta...? Hm...that's something to consider. This never happened when Bush was president...

The IRS said they'd send me a bill, so until I get that, I think I'll just act like it doesn't exist.

February is going to be pretty awesome actually. We already have a couple of dinners scheduled with people who are as equally awesome as we are (that's always important, you know, when you're scheduling entire nights away from the comforts of your own home and WoW--that the people you're visiting can provide adequate lovin'). We've got some wedding shtuff. Some Girls Night shtuff. Some GroudHogDayin'. And for some reason my calendar has this day of Valentine's on it... ? Anybody know what that's about? I'm going to be taking a fun photography class with my friend (! yay, actually super excited for this). It's Washington's birthday on the 22nd; did you guys know that? As in George. He's the general. And I'm also foreseeing a few nights out with the newly reunited R&R.. yeah, you know who you are.

Oh yeah, and my birthday.

I'm going to be old. I'll be Trevor's age! Yeah, like I said--OLD. When I turned 18 I was free; when I turned 19, I was gloriously young. At 20, it was awesome because you're officially 2 decades old, but still young enough the government can still tell you what you can and can't drink. At 21, you're officially liberated in every possible way--except for candidacy to run for president, I suppose. But at 22... I'm just OLD. I have nothing to look forward to except 30. I've been graduated from high school for way too long to have my '06 tassel still hanging on my rear view mirror, but my life isn't anywhere super-fantastic enough to warrant replacing it with something else. 22 is gonna be weird.

At least I'm not gonna be 23 :) haha Trevor. I think Trevor should have to make me a huge castle cake this year--a pink one. Or one of these:

Yes, that's a cake.

Sitting doing nothing for the time being

I'm feeling really blah today. I have all these goals but most of them are so far in the future and I feel like I'm moving SOOO slowly!

1. 2010 Pay off credit cards by June (September at the latest).
2. 2010-11 Save up for a nice DSLR camera (in the meantime, take crappy pictures of friends and family to try to get better)
3. 2010-11 Take a couple night classes in photography basics and photoshop (surprisingly hard to find :( most people want to do this in the daytime) when I have my new camera and when I've saved up for the classes
4. 2012 Pay off both cars by mid-2012 (that's approximately 1 1/2-2 years early). We have a plan, the forces willing. I HATE that since our payments are so high, even if we pay off a couple hundred dollars extra in one month, it only moves the timeline a TINY bit. GRRR.
5. 2012-2015/16 Trevor quits his job and gets a part time job and goes to school for 3ish years (hopefully going to school full time??) studying...something. Get student loan so we don't die. Becky takes pictures and reads lots of books so she doesn't feel like she's doing nothing.
6. 2016- Trevor gets a new job and makes millions so we can pay off student loan.
7. 2016-2020 save up so we can have kids and buy house (this is the part I like). This is the time Trevor will be finding some sort of job he can do forever, haha. Who knows, maybe we'll have kids now. 6 years... that's not so bad. I'll be 28. Ugh, maybe that IS so bad.
8. 2020. Hopefully by the time I'm 32 we'll have accomplished all of these things and will be well in the middle of making babies in a house and accruing more debt because our cars will be 15 years old. Life's great, right?
9. 2010-2020. Live young so we don't feel like we're wasting away :)

The Plan.

(If you draw it, it becomes official.)

My NEW New Years Resolution

Here’s what’s been happening the last week or so. On Monday I made some cliché weight loss goals like 90% of the rest of the world, and on Wednesday I totally biffed it going down some stairs at my work, of course (being my mother’s daughter), spraining my ankle. My doctor told me I have to wear a brace for a week with no crazy moving around; and to take it easy for a WHOLE MONTH. So pretty much, I borrowed my mom’s Twilight [Okay, I know that 50% of the population reading this right now probably tuned out at the mere mention of Twilight (oh no!), but just hear me out. I promise I won't give you a book review.] and got to work on the only thing I could. I spent my weekend with my ankle elevated, and my heart elevating itself along with it because Edward’s just so dang cute. It was a nice distraction from all the food in my house...Alright, yes, I may be trying to justify spending an entire weekend curled up on my bed reading about sparkly vampires, all the while feeling my emotional threshold creep closer and closer to the breaking point. But seriously… can you blame me?

Of course, on Sunday night Trevor got the brunt of my directionless tears, totally freaking him out. All it took was one little meaningless random thought from Trevor:

“What if we found out that this whole time, we really haven’t been legally married? What if there was some sort of error in the system? Wouldn’t that be WEIRD?”

Um…YES. In storms Becky’s mounting, uncontrollable wall of tears.

Poor Trevor.

To a man, women must seem crazy—COMPLETELY crazy. But in all seriousness, I feel extremely liberated. I want to tell Trevor I love him all the time. I’m being so much more reminiscent when I talk to old friends. I feel like my sense of community and friendship has been hoisted up. I know all my new-found sentiment is stemming from the raging, idealistic love story I was reading, but yeesh. Can you blame a girl for retaining a small portion of all that lovin’? I don’t think so.

I do feel liberated. I feel free to be happy when I’m happy; to let my happiness make my chest explode and make my eyeballs sting. I feel free to cry when I’m sad, or when I’m embarrassed. For an hour or so last night I actually felt depressed for maybe the first time in my life. Definitely the first time that the topic wasn’t marriage related. When all you do every day is go to work, go home, make dinner, load the dishwasher, start some laundry, maybe watch a movie or read a book, maybe do some project or something fun now and then, it’s so obvious that someone might start to feel desensitized. I know my new-found passion for the dreaded feelings is going to mostly wear off in few days, but dang it, I’m sucking it all in while I can. Maybe when I come out of the haze I will have some of it left over.

Doing all this crying lately has really made me love it as a reaction. I feel like lately my reaction to everything not specifically happy has been frustration. When I’m sad, I’m frustrated, not sad. When I’m mad, I’m extra frustrated. When I’m confused, I’m frustrated. When I’m bored, frustrated. Annoyed at Trevor? Becky is grumpy. There is so much in between that I know I’m capable of, and I don’t want to lose it. I know I’m capable of feeling differently, and this week has been proof of that. I’m capable of making my life what I want, and I can’t deny it. Even if I’m stuck where I’m at—in debt, married at 22 (in 4 weeks, eek), working full time—I can still react the way I want to. Becky on the inside can be having the time of her life right now if she wants to instead of just an okay time.

Any time I sit down at a piano and start to play a song about God, my mind and body seem to react the same way. My throat catches and I can’t sing anymore, and my eyes can’t see through the fluid gushing to read the notes so my hands have to stop playing. Each time this week when I’ve started to feel my emotions well up inside me for whatever reason, I’ve thought about that. Even though it puts me in a non-functioning state, it’s a comfortable place for me. I’m fairly certain any man who’s reading this is going, “What the…” But if you’re a girlie, just think about it for a minute. Even if you’re crying about something horrific—it feels incredible to let it out. To me, it’s proof that I’m human and alive.

So, I think I know what I want to do with my new year. Here’s to treating myself to all my emotions and the life they lead me to, and probably crying my guts out more in 2010.

the two-thousands? the tens?

I've really liked reading about people's decades, so I wanted to be cool and do it too.

What has happened in the last decade? I have to put them into groups of years since when you're in school still, the years are different:

1999/2000: I was in 6th grade, as a lovely tween, and moved from Kearns to West Jordan with my family--probably the best move of my life. It was hard at the time, but since about a month after the move, I've always been so grateful for the change. I met better people, made real friends, and began to find out who I really was.

6th Grade

2000/2001: Ooo, Jr. High :) I'm glad I'm still young enough to say that within the last decade I was in Jr. High. This is where I found out I REALLY love school and that I was good at it. I fell in love with English and reading. Had my first REAL boyfriend (because 7th grade boys are SO much more mature than 6th grade boys); we "went out" while we were at school, and held hands and hugged. Met some of my friends who would be my friends for many years.

2001/2002: Moved up in the world to 8th grade, my "I hate boys" stage. I discovered my scriptures this year on a level that I'd never known before. And I took woodshop, where I learned I can create things in ways I never expected I would like. I learned some French, and did student government. This is the year that all my friends became OBSESSED (well, more so than the previous year) with boys and each had the one they were pining over. I'm sure I did too, but I don't remember anyone specific. We had many a good sleep over and movie night discussing their attributes.

8th Grade

2002/2003: I was in 9th grade, 15. I fell in love with Geography and History, and took my first Seminary class. I will always have fond memories of the changes that happened in me during this year. My testimony grew and gave me a foundation that I will always need. This is the year I discovered pink. Yes, as in the color. And dated Scott Oliverson. Whew, what a year. Pretty sure I was on the Joel P. basketball team too. Did we ever win a game? This is also the year I moved into the Heritage 2nd Ward and made new friends. I loved that ward. Click here.

9th Grade

2003/2004: Oh man, my first year in high school. I was so freaked out, haha! And so sad that I didn't have the guts the year before to try out for choir because all my friends were in choir. But I took debate and kicked BUTT there instead; got to go to Boston for nationals with my Patrick Henry speech. I'll always remember my PF partners Alex and finding Chelsea--we were magnificent! Went on my first REAL date, and felt adequately grossed out. Read and read and read and did homework. I miss it.

10th Grade

2004/2005: This is the year I met Trevor! I was so relieved to meet a boy who wasn't disgusting and who had some "depth." So I thought ;) I also totally immersed myself in AP History, and CHOIR!! Yay! It was great to be involved in SO many things that I loved more than anything. I really felt like I was finding out who I was. I also remember LOVING our grammar days in Tucker's class.

11th Grade

2005/2006: My senior year in high school... aw :) All my classes were the most difficult I'd ever taken, choir was insane with Madrigals taking up a lot of time, Trevor was graduated and working, and my family was crazy at the time, haha. My dad passed away right at the end of the madrigal season, which was a weird experience--one that made me really reflect on my goals and the relationship I had with my brothers and my mom and step-dad in a way I never had before. But I'm still sure it was one of the best years I've ever had :) Madrigals was such a blessing--I'll always be grateful for the opportunity to do what I love like that with people that I love! Crazy business, Trevor and I got engaged in the spring, and got married in the fall and got our first apartment together! Along with that, I went through the temple for my Endowment, and felt my closeness with God grow :) And my closeness to Trevor.

Madrigals

Graduation

Engaged

Married!

2007: Worked A LOT. Took 2 classes in college. Got poor. Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Although, it was amazing being married to Trevor, and we were so happy to be together so often. Trevor started his first band, and we found out how to balance our lives. Trevor went through a few jobs, and we got a lot of credit card debt, and a NEW CAR PAYMENT, yippee. But we did find our current apartment, which we love :)

2007; Travis and Robyn's Endowment Day

2008: We'd been married for 2 years, and I think this was a great year for both of us to find more about who we are separately, and as a couple. Trevor was in the band, and did designs, and really just explored being as much of a man in his 20s he could be while being married. We're still working on this :) I found out how much I really love cooking and baking, and decorating our apartment, and making things. Late in the year, Trevor's brother moved in with us, and we started to find out how much we long hanging out with our families. They really can be your best friends.

2008; Sad for family moving away

2009: Trevor got promoted at Rent-A-Center, and we both got raises, which we were really grateful for. We worked on paying down some of the debt we accrued since we got married, and made great headway! This was one of the most financially stable years we'd both ever experienced, and it was such a relief. Trevor and I grew so much together as a tiny family. We gained new respect for each other and firmed up our long-term goals. Trevor ended his time with the band (still hoping for something band-ish in the future), and got a lot of experience with his designs doing fliers for work. I explored my interest in photography, and well, we'll see where that goes in 2010!

2009; Fire in the mountains

December 30, 2009

What's in store for 2010:

• This year, we have a very specific plan to pay off ALL of our credit card debt. This will give us more room to pay off our cars a year or more early in 2011/2012ish. And then Trevor can very satisfactorily QUIT his job and go to school for graphic design and become a millionaire! bwahahahah!
• 2009 was a great year for us to get to know our living habits and eating habits, and during the last few months, we learned more about how we can each live healthier lives. We're going to continue to grow in this area in 2010.
• I am saving up to buy a fancy camera so I can take better pictures. After I have the camera I want, I'm hoping to be able to take some classes and learn even more about the technicality of photography and editing. And maybe one day make a little money doing something I love!
• I'm going to be more musical this year. One day I WILL have a piano of my own and I don't want to have forgotten everything I know, right?

We are way excited for this year! Mostly for our financial plans. I wish we could just hurry and make time go by just so we could get it done! But I know there will be plenty of other things going on this year that will be worth the time. I'll be 22, and Trevor will be 23. We're still young, and we have an amazing life to live!