Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Books I need to re-read because I hated them at first

I feel like I can be a forgiving person when I want to be. And I love books. So that's what this post is about :)

I went through my Goodreads reviews and noticed that I haven't really given that many books a rating below 3 stars. I was curious to see which books I gave a rating that I consider sub-par. And I am giving myself a challenge to re-read some of these books to see if I still hate them. It turns out that some of them are books I read a long time ago--maybe I'll like them now? Some are books I couldn't seem to get through.

I hate the idea of an author spending years of their life creating and writing a book, only for me to hate it. So I'm giving some of them a second chance--a few don't deserve a second chance quite yet, though ;) I don't even remember why I didn't like most of them.

These aren't in any particular order:

The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown. I read this in 2010, so not that long ago. I wasn't impressed. It was much better suited to a movie. The only two things I found redeeming were the fact that it was a quick exciting read, and Silas. He was basically the only realistic character, even though he was the most extreme. I won't be re-reading this anytime in the next quarter century.

 I actually really like my review I wrote on Goodreads, important parts highlighted


"I honestly and sincerely started reading this book with an open mind. I began with the knowledge that some people love it, and some people hate it. I entered the world of the Da Vinci Code with the expectation that I would be entertained, and perhaps a little enlightened on a few things. Instead, I was directed to every point the author wanted to make, and bashed over the head with it in each chapter. Dan Brown repeats himself OVER and OVER, as if I can't remember what I was just told in the chapter before, or heaven forbid, two chapters ago. I stopped counting how many times he informed me that the "Rose" had roots to the "rose" on a map. I felt like Dan Brown was in charge of my reading experience, not myself. By taking so much control, he limited my imagination, and limited the personal experience I could have had with the book 

On top of that, I think Dan Brown is a little close-minded himself. The moral of his story seems to be that we need to open our eyes to the truth of history and the symbols and true meanings of things around us. BUT, he completely dismisses any other possibilities except for those "truths" he presents. 

I found his style very "young adult." There's a pattern, identify a secret, let the characters talk about it without informing the reader, and then inform the reader in the next chapter. Seems to me to be the simplest form of mystery writing. 

I came away feeling the most sympathy and connection with Silas, surprisingly. I felt no connection to Robert Langdon, and hardly any for Sophie. Silas only wanted to get out of his hole. He was abused as a child, forced into a life he should never have had to experience, and miraculously rescued by a good person (no matter his religion). He started a new life, with a new family and purpose, that no one can presume to call evil, if a little misguided and sensational. He was taken advantage of, manipulated. And he lost everything. All that remained of him at the end of the story was a white body lying in the park. He deserved more." 


 Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown. Yeah, I know, it's a kids' book. But oh my heck, it gets a lot of hype! Last year, I discovered that I'd actually never read it. After checking it out, I was unimpressed. I don't remember exactly what it's about, but I remember a "What? That's it?" feeling. Even for a kid book.

Next time I get the chance, I'm going to take 2 minutes and read it again. I'm sure there's something good about it. I mean, kids love it, right?
 Fire of the Covenant, by Gerald N. Lund. Oh my. When I was 12, I read the entire Work and the Glory series and fell in love. (That's another series I need to re-read because I've been feeling its memory being cheapened in my mind, and I wonder if it's really as good as I thought when I was a Beehive.) I picked this one up off my mom's shelf in high school, and could only get a few chapters in. I don't have an official rating of this book, since I barely got started but I've always assumed it must not be that great if it couldn't hook me. I think I might have been bored with pioneers at the time. Lund is a celebrated author; I'm sure it's worth something. I'm going to give it another chance.
 Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. I know a few people who would be shocked off their rockers to hear that I didn't enjoy the first quarter of this book either. Last year I honestly TRIED. I tried my very hardest to read this book but it was like walking through thick mud. I'm not sure if I'm ready to give it another go yet, but I will. Eventually. I'm not usually one to get annoyed with the "classic" or old style of writing. But this book... I swear Charles Dickens was trying to annoy people by not writing coherently. I've heard so many people rave about the characters... So I must be missing something.
 The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain. I'm ashamed that I don't like this book. I read it in high school and ever since it has been my go-to least favorite book. I'm now foggy on the details, but I remember disliking the accents, and racism, and simplicity of the characters. I knew, and I know, those things are basically what makes the book infamous... I think I might have been uncomfortable with the subject material, maybe? I'm ready to try this one again and see if I still hate it.
 A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith. Yet another book I read in high school. I actually have hardly any recollection of what this book is actually about-- just know I wasn't a fan. Looking back, though, I think I might have disliked it because I disliked my English teacher at the time... She was a treat, let me tell you. I'm surprised any of us went on to enjoy reading after being in her class. Poor woman.
The Witches, by Roald Dahl. I read this book in elementary. And as far as an 8 year old review goes, I didn't like it. I only remember one scene in the whole book, where a kid is sneaking up on the witches in a big meeting. I remember hearing that all my friends loved the book, but when I read it, I didn't understand why anyone liked it at all. I felt like they liked it for the gross art rather than the actual content.
 Against the Storm, by Gaye Hicyilmaz. This was the very first REAL chapter book I ever purchased. Actually, my mom helped me buy it at the school's book fair. I don't think I was ready for it--as my mom sincerely tried to tell me. I wouldn't listen, though, and insisted I could read it. I tried multiple times, once even in high school. I've always been curious if it's actually good.
 Death of a Salesman, by Arthur Miller. No idea why I didn't like this. We even read the play and watched a movie with John Malcovich in high school. I'm looking forward to giving it another shot.
 Monkey Bridge, by Lan Cao. Whew! A book I actually read and remember why I don't like it :) Here's my review from Goodreads with the important parts highlighted. I won't be reading this again for a very long time.

  The first half of the book is like reading a really convoluted dream sequence. I couldn't even tell if the main character was male or female for like 30 pages. Everything is from the point of view of the main character, Mai, who is a Vietnamese immigrant in her senior year of high school. On top of the hardships that go along with immigration, she's dealing with her mother's failing physical and mental health, the regular mother-daughter misunderstandings, as well as the sorrow of an unidentified event leaving her only remaining family member in Vietnam. 

If I was going to rate this book on IDEAS alone, I would give it 3, maybe 4, stars. But the organization and flow of the content is frustrating, slow at points, and jumbled. And although the book was written in first person, I felt like I got to know Mai's mother by her journal entries better than I got to know Mai through her narrative. 

I recommend refreshing your memory on the vietnam war before reading this book. You'll be a lot less confused once you do. The book doesn't remind you itself who was on who's side, or the history and timeline in plain terms. So be prepared to remind yourself of who fought the war, what each side stood for, the major battles, and the geography of Vietnam. 

Beyond the organizational and structural items that bothered me, by the time I finished the book, I found Mai's main conflict to be satisfying. Throughout the book, she is confused about how to interact with her mother. This is in the normal way mothers and daughters have a hard time understanding each other's goals, desires, history, and life. But there's the added conflict between Mai and her mother that her mother is stuck in traditional Vietnamese ways, while they are living in America and Mai is willing to adapt. They are growing much further apart than I believe they would have if Mai had grown up only in Vietnam. In the beginning, Mai is resistant to her mother's ways and lifestyle centered around Karma. But by the end of the book, although there is a bitter end in some ways, Mai learns to appreciate her mother's ways and apply them to her life in ways she can accept. While I don't agree that her mother HAD to do the things she did in order to give Mai a Karmatic "fresh start," I can appreciate Mai's appreciation, because she needed to learn her mother's heart. There are often very visual metaphores and analogies that I found quite impressive. 

If someone asked me if they should read this book, I would probably say yes. But more in a "go for it and see what you think" way. I would recommend that they stick around for the end, and try to read the book in 1 or 2 sittings to not get dragged down. Everything comes together in the end.


 The BFG, by Roald Dahl. Always said I hated this book, but can never remember why. I'll try this one again soon.
 Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen. I think I got turned off of Jane Austen because all her books are basically the same. I really liked Pride and Prejudice, then sort of liked Emma, then got bored with Sense and Sensibility. If I'm ever interested in giving it a second chance, I'll probably just read an Austen book I've never read before to see if it's similar. Here's my Goodreads review:

"All I could think the whole time was, "Have I read this before?" So much like Pride and Prejudice, and even like the beginning of Emma so far. Maybe I'm not sensitive enough to discern the subtleties? I was liking it in the beginning, getting to know the characters, discovering Marianne wasn't going to be with Willoughby, and that Elinor was losing her "true love." But it felt like it dragged on in the middle. There was waaay too much detail about the depression Marianne fell into for Willoughby. I liked Pride and Prejudice. Why didn't I like this one? I wonder if I went back and read P and P again, if I'd like it a second time... I sort of feel like I've discovered what Jane Austen's style is like, and now I've read them all. I think I'll give Emma a chance and keep reading though... I didn't feel like anything was a shock, even the end when Edward really isn't married, I feel like I already knew. Maybe I've seen the movie and just can't remember. 

I wish Edward would have been explained better. And why Elinor likes him. I didn't even know she liked him until like half way through, and then it was hard to believe she cared. It ended with a happy ending, but not the happy ending it could have been if we would have REALLY seen Elinor suffering. She would have been fine without him. She was ready to move on. 

I don't know if it was just this book, or if I'm really beginning to be turned off by Jane Austen, but it really started to get on my nerves how often Austen doesn't specify which "she" she's talking about. Or which "Miss Whoever." She'll bring up a character you've never met before and talk about them as if you should know who they are, and then explain who they are a page later. Normally I love the style from this time period, but there seemed to be a lot of talking about nothing in this book."


Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen. My book club read this over the summer, and I couldn't get in to it. I'll admit, it may partially be because I'm kind of annoyed by how much attention Robert Pattinson gets in the media for being Edward in Twilight (don't get me wrong, Twilight has its place in the world). I'm just super annoyed with how much hype book-movies get when they pick the right actor or when the book was a thriller with little real worth while content. Twilight is one of those, sure. Same with Hunger Games. I'll also admit that I was immediately turned off by the language in the book and by the naked lady dancers and such. I'm not one to be incredibly particular about things like that all the time--but it didn't seem to flow with the book. I think I need a little extra time before coming back to this book. The movie needs to not be so popular and I need time to forget all my negative feelings.



Well, that's it. What about you? Do you feel similarly about any of these books? Think I should give any of them a second chance? Do you have any books you should give a second chance??

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

On Valentine's.

I forgot: Yesterday was Valentine's Day. This was the 8th Valentine's Day Trevor and I have celebrated together. It's super weird to be at the point where we are starting to forget what we've done on each year. In two short years, we will celebrate 10 years together. What will we do when we're so old? What will we have to show for it? It seems like not much, I'm afraid. Hopefully by then we'll have at least the idea of an offspring.

Although, I suppose we can't discount our relationship as it is, even though our lives aren't quite what we want yet. I always knew I'd love Trevor more and more as time went on, but I don't think we can ever fully anticipate things like that. We're both mean, selfish, and lazy. And I think it's horrible of God and the universe that we all have to choose one person to see all our worst parts for our whole lives. Practically nothing is a secret when you're married. Despite all that, I'm still thankful for Trevor. I've been glad to see him pursue his dreams, whatever they may be at the time; I've been glad to try our hand at life together. And even though in the grand scheme of things, we may have made life harder on each other by being married so young, and encouraging each other to make unsound money decisions, it still feels worth it to be able to love him.

I don't believe in soul mates, or that we're destined to only find true love with one person in the whole world. I believe we make our own happiness. And Trevor has helped me make mine.

Um, PS: Last night I made a delicious chicken cordon bleu with proscuitto and baby swiss, with uber creamy mashed potatoes and asparagus. I'm drooling for more!

Eye problems, and more church.

Mmkay, so a couple of things. Regarding two drastically different topics.

I have some sort of eye freak-out going on, and I can't see very well. I've had really dry eyes for like, a couple of months. Especially at night. I'll wake up in the middle of the night, and my eyes will be ridiculously dry--so dry I can barely open them. I'm a contacts person. I've worn them almost every day for like, 13 years, or something like that. I wear my glasses when my eyes get tired or whatever.

Over the weekend, my eyes started getting more and more dry, and started to sting like crazy even during the day time, and especially when I wasn't wearing my contacts. It started to get a bit unbearable on Sunday/Monday. I almost couldn't drive to work on Monday, but I suffered through, and luckily I didn't get in any accidents. Monday night, I basically spent the whole evening turning off lights where ever I went, keeping my eyes shut, and holding cold cloths over my eyes. I tried some basic dry eyes and irritation reliever eye drops, but they didn't seem to help.

Yesterday, I was trying so hard to function, but by the time I got out driving, I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to see to turn into the closest parking lot on my way to work. Needless to say, I sobbed for 5 minutes before hysterically calling Trevor to tell him I was going blind having a hard time seeing. Luckily, my brother-in-law was at home for the morning and he rescued me, took me to the eye doctor, and suffered my eyes crying involuntarily for a couple of hours.

Turns out, I have an infection that isn't really an infection that has caused infiltrates on my corneas. Apparently my white blood cells are gathering to fight something off, causing my corneas to feel scratched. It sounds to me like it's one of those diagnosis they give for all sorts of generic problems, but whatev. I got an antibiotic eye drop and was told to use an extra moisturizing drop too. They said it can be caused by dryness, pollution, or sickness, any and all kinds.

Whatever the reason, I'm glad my eyes aren't burning my face off any more. I'm still having a hard time with light, and my vision is still a bit blurry, but I was able to drive to work this morning. Thank goodness for the overcast sky today!

I have to wear my glasses for at least a week, and it might be recurring :/ Idunno how I feel about that.

Um, also, I went to Relief Society on Sunday. It was okay. I sat in the very front row, and it felt like I was alone with the teacher, and that actually helped. I was less distracted by being able to see everyone in the room. I also attended my ward's New Member meeting, so there's no turning back now. The ward leadership is now aware of me and my woes.

I've been reading The Book of Mormon during breakfast the last couple weeks, and it actually hasn't felt like a chore. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you want to.

In church we focused on the two "great commandments" specifically laid out in Matthew 22:


 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
 38 This is the first and great commandment.
 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.


And in my study, I've been feeling uplifted as I read Mormon and Ether. That, all by itself is kind of surprising, since both books are basically all about generations of people who fall away. In Ether 12:9 it says:

 Wherefore, ye may also have hope, and be partakers of the gift, if ye will but have faith.

Combined, I feel a great sense of ease. My small decisions to do right are more easily done, and I feel ready to think about other people besides myself. It seems like in a matter of weeks I've gotten over my fear of serving extra, having a calling, participating. I started to feel incredibly sorry for leaving my ward without a pianist--while I"m grateful for the sister's effort and time it takes to plunk out the melody of an opening hymn, I can't help but feel like I've been selfish to withhold something I can so easily offer. I want to hurry and get to know some of these people so I can stop feeling so isolated, and do my part.

I'm determined to be less contentious at home, less quick to judge; I'm basically failing at this so far. And I'm sure Trevor finds me incredibly hypocritical and changeable when I forget. And I'm trying to let my faith take over in my life. Believing in God isn't about being certain. It's about giving a feeling a chance. I'm only able to be fully aware of how deep my faith runs when I allow myself to feel it, and when I do, it feels like I'm rewarded with extra bits of goodness. I still have lengths and bounds to go before I'll really be used to everything, and probably eons before I'm back on top of all my responsibilities. But my foot is in the door--no, maybe my leg.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Trevor was interviewed!

Trevor was interviewed by a fellow-blogger! Go here to read it. He's a pretty funny dude. That's why I married him.

It's been really neat to read all of Trevor's interviews of aspiring and published authors on his blog. But it's even neat-er to read one about him!

We're getting ready to go to another writing convention on Thursday, Life the Universe and Everything (LTUE), it's called. So I'm sure he'll have a bunch more new stuff to talk about soon. His current book is picking up pace. I can't wait until I can share it with tons of people (and see my name on the dedication page, obviously)! He's always so hard on himself--which is a good thing in some ways; he's able to catch a lot of mistakes and improve things on his own a lot. But he deserves a pat on the back for how hard he's worked on writing this year, and for actually making an interesting and entertaining book!

P.S. I'm only mostly kidding about it being dedicated to me.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Vodnik by Bryce Moore [ARC]

Hi guys! Something amazing and totally not normal happened to us last week! We won a contest for an Advance Reader's Copy of a new book called Vodnik by Bryce Moore. Bryce is a brand spankin' new author with some roots in Utah; Trevor and I meet him last year at Conduit and have been anxiously awaiting his book release this March. We were both impressed with Bryce's style and the amount/quality of information he gave at the convention last year, so we've also been following his blog. He's also a librarian--cool, eh?

The book is in the mail, so we don't have it yet. But I'm getting pretty excited! Trevor is also working on an interview with the author over on his blog that should be out right around the book's release date.

We never win anything! So this is a pretty amazing win :) 

Here's a little blurb about the book from Bryce's blog:


When Tomas and his family move back to Slovakia after a devastating fire, Tomas doesn't remember the folktale creatures he befriended as a child. 
But they remember him and his Roma family, and they’re not as friendly as they once were. Suddenly Tomas is in over his head, and he’ll have to strike a bargain with Death herself in order to put things right.
Amidst a backdrop of anti-Roma sentiment, he and his cousin must match wits with myths, and uncover the secrets of Tomas's past before their own futures become forfeit.


Death herself; isn't that neat? You all should check it out when it comes out! I'll be sure to let you know how it is :)

Friday, February 03, 2012

No iPhone: Week One

It's been seven days (that's one week, folks) since we removed our data plan from our iPhones. Here's my summary:


  1. I still get to use my iPhone as an iPod; this means I can still listen to all my music and play apps as much as I want. (Thank goodness, because I read a lot of books on there throughout the year, and play a butt load of Sudoku/Bejeweled/Angry Birds/Spongebob Diner Dash, etc)
  2. I can do EVERYTHING else on the iPhone (except call and text) when I have WiFi--which I don't at work, but I do at home.
  3. I can still iMessage other iPhone users when I have WiFi.
  4. I only had to print off one map from MapQuest on my home computer.
  5. It only took me five days to figure out how to work this ancient voice mail system, and predictive text.
  6. We saved $60/mo (which, combined with a miracle of a tax return, we're using to pay off a loan 4 years early at the end of this year).
  7. I have to lug around a second cell phone for calls and texts. I'll admit it, I thought this was going to be ridiculously inconvenient. But it turns out, I don't really get that many calls and texts. I get calls from Trevor when he leaves work. I get texts from my mom once every week or two. Other than that... nope. 
Future down-sides:

  • When I do finally end up needing my GPS, I most likely won't have it since WiFi is generally not available while driving. Have I lost the ability to find places on my own? Guess we'll see.
  • I won't have instant access to my bank accounts unless I go somewhere with WiFi.
  • I can't instantly check my email or Facebook for personal or business messages... unless I have WiFi.
  • TEXTING is horrific without a qwerty (that's fun to type) keyboard; I will be texting even less and with less proper grammar/spelling/punctuation.
  • It's annoying to keep track of two phones' battery lives. Although, the new phone only needs charging every three days or so, since I never use it.
Basically:
  • I'm in limbo between cell phone use and iPhone use.
  • I've regressed about 5 years into the past, technology wise.
  • I'm less connected.
  • I hate being one of those people with a regular cell phone almost more than I hate the lack of ease. (Don't judge me even though I judge you.)
  • I'm still sad.
  • It's worth it. 

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Chuck Wendig's Butternut Squash Soup

Mmm mmm :) It was hard to wait to eat it even to take this picture!
Hi goobers!

Trevor and I tried another of Chuck Wendig's recipes. He has a blog called TerribleMinds and occasionally fills the world in on these earth shattering recipes he makes up.

We've made his pork butt, and his pasta, which I've named Autumn Pasta, and you can check out that recipe here.

Anywho, I like to share with all you, my friends, the clean versions of these recipes, although, I kinda do still recommend you read through Chuck's because he's just hilarious. My version actually has measurements though. So there's always that.

We LOVED this soup; both of us. And that's pretty amazing since Trevor doesn't really do soup. But leave it to Chuck to convince Trevor to eat squash when I've been trying for 5 years.

I'm not bitter though.

This was a smooth, creamy, warm, chunky, and perfectly spicy soup. One of the things I love about all of Chuck's recipes is that most of the ingredients and amounts are up to you. If you don't like something, don't include it; if you don't have something, don't use it; if you want more carrot, use more carrot. So feel free to adjust these measurements to your own taste.

Try it, and enjoy!

You need (lots o' stuff):

1 butternut squash
1 medium onion
olive oil (approx 1/4 cup)
1 tablespoon kosher salt
ground pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne powder
herbs de provence OR 1-2 teaspoons of other herbs like: italian seasoning, sage, rosemary, parsley
2 carrots
2 celery sticks
2 tablespoons olive oil
2-4 cloves minced garlic
1/4 cup water, optional
2 cups chicken broth (plus another cup if you like it thinner)
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup heavy cream (plus another cup if you like it creamier)
1 pound ground country sausage
1 leek
1 tablespoon butter
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar


  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Start by peeling the squash with a vegetable peeler. Cut it in half and scoop out the seedy parts. 
  3. Dice the squash into 1/2 inch pieces and layer onto a baking sheet or roasting pan lined with foil.
  4. Largely chop the onion and combine with the squash on the pan.
  5. Coat the squash and onion with olive oil; make sure it's all covered.
  6. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and spices. Mix to coat. 
  7. Bake in the oven for approximately 1 hour, or until the vegetables start to caramelize. 
  8. While your squash is baking, you can start the other ingredients: The stock, sausage, and leeks.
  9. Peel and dice the carrots and celery, and begin cooking with minced garlic and oil over medium heat in a large pot. Saute for 10-15 minutes while they get softer, adding water as needed.
  10. Fry the ground sausage in a skillet and set aside.
  11. Wash and slice the leek into rings. "Melt" the leeks in butter over medium heat in a skillet with red wine vinegar. Cook for approximately 5-10 minutes. Set aside and keep warm.
  12. When the squash is baked, combine it with the carrot and celery in the pot. Add broth and apple cider vinegar and simmer for 10 minutes.
  13. Blend the contents of the pot. Chuck recommends using a blender, but I don't have one, so I used an immersion blender. Blend it until it is as smooth as you like. 
  14. Return to medium heat and add cream. This is where you add more broth or cream until the soup is the consistency you like. 
  15. Add the sausage to the soup, and make sure it's all warm.
  16. Serve with leeks.
Trevor thinks he might like it better without the sausage--the whole dish is VERY flavorful. But I personally think the sausage makes the soup. We will probably be doing variations with shredded chicken or mushrooms. Mmm, can you imagine halved mushrooms in this??

Let me know what you think! 


Go here to read Chuck's full recipe for "Butternut Squash that will kick you in the butternuts."

UPDATE*****
09/23/2012
We made this again with a smoked sausage and it was superb! I recommend using 2 cups of cream, and adding at least 2 more cups of chicken broth after you've blended. Add them in increments so you can decide on your own how thick you want it. Adding cream makes it less spicy, but it is VERY spicy still. If you're worried about how hot it will be, add half the cayenne, and tone down the pepper before roasting.

Here's some more photos :)




[Shrimp & Pineapple Tikka] + [Spinach & Paneer]

I've just taken my first 10 bites of Spinach and Paneer, and it is kind of exciting in my mouth!



I traveled, literally, all over the valley trying to find an Indian market. I got turned away so many times :( But after visiting two Asian markets, finding the largest Indian market in Salt Lake recently closed, and finding one store completely invisible, I FINALLY found one open and CLOSE TO MY HOUSE! (Why I didn't go there first, we'll never know.)

My new favorite place is called Qaderi Sweetz N Spicez. Yeah, crazy name. But whatevs. It's on 3546 South Redwood in the middle of a pretty Mexican gangster strip mall. The second I walked in, the clerk was super helpful and nice. So go!

As a follow up to my last Indian food post, I found ghee! It was at my local Fresh Market; whodathunk? Not me, that's for sure. You know that teensy section of Indian food most grocery stores have next to all the Asian food? It's right there (not in the dairy section), jarred, and waiting for you.

Here's my initial take on ghee. I'm going to give it another shot, but I'm not entirely sure I love the flavor. I don't know enough words to describe it any differently than you'd describe butter, but it's different. 

On to the food!

This week I made two dishes, a shrimp dish and a spinach dish. Here goes:

SHRIMP + PINEAPPLE TIKKA



If you've ever wondered what an Indian restaurant smells like, this is it.

India is HUGE, guys. There are so many different areas and cultures within cultures, especially when it comes to cuisine. And a lot of the people on the coasts eat tons of seafood (so my cookbook tells me). So I thought I'd try my hand at a dry fish dish. Lots of Indian food is saucy, so I was interested to try this recipe. It turned out to smell very Indian, and taste very Indian, but I wasn't ecstatic over it. I don't think I'll make it again. I think it was just a little TOO much for me. It's made with a bunch of brown and yellow seeds, and none of the sweeter red powders and chiles. That's not to say someone out there won't like it when they try it.

1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp coriander seeds
1/2 tsp fennel seeds
1/2 tsp yellow mustard seeds
1/4 tsp fenugreek seeds
1/4 tsp nigella seeds
pinch of chili powder
2 tbsp pineapple juice from the can
about 3/4 pound of medium size shrimp, peeled, deveined, and tails left in-tact
an equal amount of pineapple chunks from a can or fresh
salt
chopped cilantro

I didn't use fenugreek seeds, but fenugreek powder instead (about half the amount it calls for in seeds). I also didn't use nigella seeds because I couldn't find them, or cilantro because Trevor doesn't really like it.

Dry roast all the seeds together in a pan. This means you put them over medium high heat in a pan with NO oil for a few minutes until they start to get warm and aromatic. Stir them constantly and take them out of the pan quickly before they burn.

Now, this is where you have to get tricky. You're supposed to mash all those seeds up with salt and chili powder in a mortar and pestle or a spice grinder. Idunno about you, but I don't have either of those. So I just used an old pepper grinder; worked like a charm. Just get it as fine as you can.

Stir in pineapple (or lemon) juice to the ground up seeds. Add your shrimp to the mixture and let it marinate for at least 10 minutes.

Preheat the broiler, stick your shrimpies and your pineapplies on your skewers, and broil for 2-3 minutes on each side.

SPINACH + PANEER


Like I was saying before, India's got a lot of character! In some places, practically everyone is vegetarian. I read that they use a homemade cheese called paneer to get a lot of their protein they'd normally get from meat. Cheese? Um, yes, please. I was sad when I couldn't find paneer at the regular grocery store or at the Asian stores, but I found it at Qaderi's! You can make your own, which is probably what real Indians do, but I'm not that dedicated :) It tastes like cheese, and it's harder than cream cheese, but softer than cheddar. It tastes like strong milk, with a pretty warm flavor.

I liked this dish a lot more than the shrimp one. Who doesn't love creamy spinach and cheese?

6 tbsp ghee (or vegetable oil)
12 ounces paneer, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1 1/2 tbsp garlic and ginger paste (just make your own)
1 fresh green chile
4 tbsp water
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 pound fresh spinach leaves, stem removed
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garam masala
4 tbsp heavy cream
lemon wedges

I didn't use lemon wedges. But take a look, really the only crazy thing in this recipe is garam masala, which is really just a blend of a bunch of spices like pepper, cloves, cumin, cardamom, nutmeg, anise, cinnamon, ginger, fennel and whatever else they decide to through in. It's serious business, but I have no idea how they do it.

Heat the ghee over medium high in a large skillet or casserole and add the paneer pieces in a single layer. Pan fry for about 5 minutes till all the sides are browned. Paneer isn't like cheddar; it won't all melt and it says pretty intact. Remove the cheese to a paper towel covered plate.

To make a garlic and ginger paste, just chop up equal parts (or whatever ratio you want) ginger and garlic. Then start smooshing it with your knife, spreading it across the cutting board while you pulverize. You can add a little salt to make it easier. Add your paste, onion,  and finely diced chile to your hot ghee in the pan and cook until the onions are soft but not brown. Add water if necessary.

Wash the spinach and add it to the pan without removing too much of the water from the leaves. Add salt. Cover and let the spinach wilt, stirring occasionally. Add cream and garam masala. Serve with lemon.

This will be yummy!

Monday, January 23, 2012

One Month of Church

I figured it's about time for an update on that horrible post I had to write about going back to church a few weeks back. Exposing my gigantic flaws to the interwebs is indeed horrible, however motivating and liberating.

I guess my first goal with this whole thing has been to simply get back in the habit of GOING to church. That involves going to bed at a reasonable hour on Saturday night, getting up on time Sunday morning, driving in the cold, and deciding which of my church paraphernalia to tote along with me. The latter wasn't as hard as it used to be, given that I don't exactly have any responsibilities at church yet that require carrying a bunch of crap. Allowing my mind to be okay with giving up one of the only two nights I'm allowed to stay up late, and one of the only two mornings I'm allowed to sleep in, is a bit of a struggle. People who don't care about the hours of 10 PM to 2 AM on Saturday nights probably have no idea what it means to be sleeping during this time instead of doing whatever the heck you want. Watching back to back episodes of Monk, or that Stephen Hawking mini-series is so much more fun than going to bed at 11:00. Reading an extra 50 pages in my book club book is so much more satisfying; being awake for a midnight snack is something I look forward to on the weekends!  And at this point, the only reason it's worth it isn't because being at church is so much more interesting or immediately fulfilling. Honestly, it's more worth it because I know how I feel when I'm not doing it. I assure you, going to sleep while your husband plays is less than thrilling.

My second goal has been to actually pay attention in my meetings and focus on as many good things as I can. By default, this means that doing the opposite is to be minimized. For example, making it to Sunday School, but texting Trevor or checking facebook on my phone while I'm there probably isn't the best use of my time. Why did I go to bed early just to waste being here? Also, letting myself get distracted by all the things there are to be distracted: the universal smell that fills a room when too many people are crammed in and they're breathing; the sound of twenty babies under nursery age crying; people going off on tangents, giving advice about other churches they've gone to that turned out to be cults, or talking about the Jazz or democrats in Utah; you know, that kind of thing. I just have to take a deep breath and let it roll off me. Everyone is a person too, no matter how annoying I let them seem. Besides, they're obviously doing better at life than I am since they're always at church no matter when I decide to randomly go. BUT--focusing on as many GOOD things as I can; that's the real goal. I read along. I search for lessons I can apply to myself, and answers to questions I have. I try to feel the spirit that the teachers or speakers obviously feel. I usually find it and feel it when I'm being patient and open to those around me.

They say you make a habit out of something after 21 days... How long when you do it once a week? Longer? I feel my habit forming after accomplishing the routine 4 consecutive times. Though, I'm worried about adding more layers before I'm ready to carry more. I've been surprised at my feelings toward Relief Society. At 18 when I first joined Relief Society, and even for a few years after that, it was a great source of support and comfort for me. A few years ago when I stopped attending, my responsibilities in Relief Society and the atmosphere were actually the brunt of a lot of my anxiety. I'm trying to slowly but steadily remind myself of the TRUE purpose behind callings and the fellowshipping that goes on in Relief Society between women. A few years ago I began to feel like my calling was too much for me to handle on my own. That I wasn't known or valued as myself, but only as my calling. I began to feel distanced from the sisters around me--I felt alone in a room full of women my age. I didn't feel like any fellowship I GAVE was genuine, and I didn't feel what I RECEIVED was genuine either. I didn't want it to be genuine, on the one hand; I just want to be left alone to feel the spirit sometimes. But on the other, I wanted to be loved. I know the majority of what I was feeling was caused by my own lack of effort and a dependence on others around me to keep me spiritual. But it's a scary thought to go back to that world where I was feeling so torn. I'm worried that a calling will bring too much pressure; I'm worried that I'll be reminded over and over of all that I still need to do.

Next week is Stake Conference, so I guess I have almost two weeks to prepare myself for going to Relief Society when normal church resumes. I just need to keep reminding myself of my first impressions of Relief Society, and not those I created later on during a hard time in my own life. Why am I dedicating so much effort and time to becoming an active member, but ignoring a third of church? Doesn't make sense.

The reintroduction of prayer in my life is an uncomfortable step. Never before in my entire life have I felt uncomfortable praying to my Heavenly Father. In a way, though, I've felt my sporadic prayers have been more honest because I have to think extra hard about what I'm saying. My mind isn't used to easily recalling what I'm supposed to pray about, so I'm forced to really think about what I actually want to say to God. I have the feeling this is going to be a long term goal, but I'm going to be finding ways to remind myself to pray. Communication with God is one thing that keeps me from ignoring what I'm avoiding.

Most of all, I want to reaffirm to myself that what I'm doing isn't out of guilt. Guilt is an important part of repentance. But guilt is also a false motivator. It's a distraction. I don't want such a huge factor in my life to be motivated by feelings of remorse for something I haven't done. I AM still motivated by the lack of spirituality my life has contained at various points; but it's not healthy to constantly feel the need to be at church or else God will bring his wrath down upon you. Or to be bogged down by remorse for weaknesses. Remorse needs its day in the sun, but reminders of hope, love, compassion, and redemption are much more motivating.

I'm looking for ways to personalize all those phrases we hear all the time about the Savior. He died for us. He redeemed the world. He atoned for our sins. He saved us. I know why we say these things--because as Christians, we do believe he literally did them. It's difficult for me to remember how I used to feel when I thought of it though. Sometimes I feel like there's a blank in my mind when I try to recall. Like the rug is being pulled out from under my brain when I try to remember the spirit I used to feel. THIS is the largest reason I am going to church, why I'm part of religion. I have a Father, and a purpose. And a big part of that purpose hinges on understanding Christ's sacrifices for me.

Good luck to me! Haha :) I HOPE I have luck. And good luck to all of YOU this month. Be grateful for what you have.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Chicken Tikka Masala


Trevor got me an Indian cook book for Christmas and I've finally prepared enough to actually make something from it! It's kind of intimidating looking at all the steps and ingredients it takes to make an Indian dish. But for my first, I chose a pretty mild and simple dish. It was insanely good! I'll definitely be making it again, and trying out some others. So keep an eye out, if you're interested in cooking Indian food.

This recipe is for Chicken Tikka Masala. And I'd say, it's a great beginner's place to start, if you've never had Indian food. We're by no means experts. In fact, we're still relatively new at eating Indian food. But this is a great place to start if you're not sure you'd like Indian or are nervous about not being able to sleep after :) There are plenty of variations of this recipe, ranging in complexity. Feel free to explore your options of different spices you can add (like tumeric, garam masala, and ginger.

Here's what you need:

2 Tablespoons ghee (or vegetable oil)
1 red or green chili, minced
1 large garlic clove, minced
4 teaspoons paprika
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
pepper
3 cooked chicken breasts, cut into pieces (or a whole chicken)
1 1/4 cup heavy cream
14 ounce can diced tomatoes
cilantro

For coconut rice:
1 1/4 cup basmati (or jasmine) rice
2 1/4 cups coconut milk
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

To be more authentic, you should use tandoori cooked chicken instead of plain chicken. I'm going to make that soon, and I'll share the recipe later. But for this version, I used regular chicken so I wouldn't be too terrified to make it or eat it.

Also, ghee is clarified butter. Indian cooking uses a lot of this, because it's had the cream boiled off. You can make it yourself, or buy it (although, I haven't been able to find it yet). Using clarified butter in Indian cooking is important because you'll be cooking with high heat a lot, and the cream in butter smokes and burns at high temperatures. You can use vegetable oil as an alternative. I used regular butter in my dish and was careful to not let it burn but it's not incredibly authentic to do so.

I went to Ocean Mart on 115 West 9000 South to find spices and coconut milk (although you can find expensive coconut milk at regular grocery stores).

Begin your rice by rinsing it until the water runs clear. Soak the rice in water for 20-30 minutes.

Begin cooking your chicken in a separate pan if it's not cooked already; I cooked with salt and pepper.

In a large saute pan, mince up your chili and garlic, and stir fry in hot ghee for a couple of minutes until aromatic and tender. The chili that you use will determine how spicy your dish is. Stir in spices, salt and pepper, and cook for a minute or so to allow the flavors to mingle. Add the cream and tomatoes, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes or so until thickened. Add the chicken, and simmer for 5-10 minutes.

While your sauce and chicken are cooking, start cooking your rice. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a medium pot, and add rice. Cook on medium high, stirring, until the rice is coated. Add the coconut milk and stir; bring it to a low boil. Reduce heat to very low and cover. Do not remove the lid until all the liquid is absorbed, about 10-15 minutes. Fluff with a fork, and cover for a couple minutes after it's cooked.

Garnish your chicken with chopped cilantro if desired, and serve with rice.

Your house will smell like Indian food for a few days. Your belly will be thankful.