One Month of Church

I figured it's about time for an update on that horrible post I had to write about going back to church a few weeks back. Exposing my gigantic flaws to the interwebs is indeed horrible, however motivating and liberating.

I guess my first goal with this whole thing has been to simply get back in the habit of GOING to church. That involves going to bed at a reasonable hour on Saturday night, getting up on time Sunday morning, driving in the cold, and deciding which of my church paraphernalia to tote along with me. The latter wasn't as hard as it used to be, given that I don't exactly have any responsibilities at church yet that require carrying a bunch of crap. Allowing my mind to be okay with giving up one of the only two nights I'm allowed to stay up late, and one of the only two mornings I'm allowed to sleep in, is a bit of a struggle. People who don't care about the hours of 10 PM to 2 AM on Saturday nights probably have no idea what it means to be sleeping during this time instead of doing whatever the heck you want. Watching back to back episodes of Monk, or that Stephen Hawking mini-series is so much more fun than going to bed at 11:00. Reading an extra 50 pages in my book club book is so much more satisfying; being awake for a midnight snack is something I look forward to on the weekends!  And at this point, the only reason it's worth it isn't because being at church is so much more interesting or immediately fulfilling. Honestly, it's more worth it because I know how I feel when I'm not doing it. I assure you, going to sleep while your husband plays is less than thrilling.

My second goal has been to actually pay attention in my meetings and focus on as many good things as I can. By default, this means that doing the opposite is to be minimized. For example, making it to Sunday School, but texting Trevor or checking facebook on my phone while I'm there probably isn't the best use of my time. Why did I go to bed early just to waste being here? Also, letting myself get distracted by all the things there are to be distracted: the universal smell that fills a room when too many people are crammed in and they're breathing; the sound of twenty babies under nursery age crying; people going off on tangents, giving advice about other churches they've gone to that turned out to be cults, or talking about the Jazz or democrats in Utah; you know, that kind of thing. I just have to take a deep breath and let it roll off me. Everyone is a person too, no matter how annoying I let them seem. Besides, they're obviously doing better at life than I am since they're always at church no matter when I decide to randomly go. BUT--focusing on as many GOOD things as I can; that's the real goal. I read along. I search for lessons I can apply to myself, and answers to questions I have. I try to feel the spirit that the teachers or speakers obviously feel. I usually find it and feel it when I'm being patient and open to those around me.

They say you make a habit out of something after 21 days... How long when you do it once a week? Longer? I feel my habit forming after accomplishing the routine 4 consecutive times. Though, I'm worried about adding more layers before I'm ready to carry more. I've been surprised at my feelings toward Relief Society. At 18 when I first joined Relief Society, and even for a few years after that, it was a great source of support and comfort for me. A few years ago when I stopped attending, my responsibilities in Relief Society and the atmosphere were actually the brunt of a lot of my anxiety. I'm trying to slowly but steadily remind myself of the TRUE purpose behind callings and the fellowshipping that goes on in Relief Society between women. A few years ago I began to feel like my calling was too much for me to handle on my own. That I wasn't known or valued as myself, but only as my calling. I began to feel distanced from the sisters around me--I felt alone in a room full of women my age. I didn't feel like any fellowship I GAVE was genuine, and I didn't feel what I RECEIVED was genuine either. I didn't want it to be genuine, on the one hand; I just want to be left alone to feel the spirit sometimes. But on the other, I wanted to be loved. I know the majority of what I was feeling was caused by my own lack of effort and a dependence on others around me to keep me spiritual. But it's a scary thought to go back to that world where I was feeling so torn. I'm worried that a calling will bring too much pressure; I'm worried that I'll be reminded over and over of all that I still need to do.

Next week is Stake Conference, so I guess I have almost two weeks to prepare myself for going to Relief Society when normal church resumes. I just need to keep reminding myself of my first impressions of Relief Society, and not those I created later on during a hard time in my own life. Why am I dedicating so much effort and time to becoming an active member, but ignoring a third of church? Doesn't make sense.

The reintroduction of prayer in my life is an uncomfortable step. Never before in my entire life have I felt uncomfortable praying to my Heavenly Father. In a way, though, I've felt my sporadic prayers have been more honest because I have to think extra hard about what I'm saying. My mind isn't used to easily recalling what I'm supposed to pray about, so I'm forced to really think about what I actually want to say to God. I have the feeling this is going to be a long term goal, but I'm going to be finding ways to remind myself to pray. Communication with God is one thing that keeps me from ignoring what I'm avoiding.

Most of all, I want to reaffirm to myself that what I'm doing isn't out of guilt. Guilt is an important part of repentance. But guilt is also a false motivator. It's a distraction. I don't want such a huge factor in my life to be motivated by feelings of remorse for something I haven't done. I AM still motivated by the lack of spirituality my life has contained at various points; but it's not healthy to constantly feel the need to be at church or else God will bring his wrath down upon you. Or to be bogged down by remorse for weaknesses. Remorse needs its day in the sun, but reminders of hope, love, compassion, and redemption are much more motivating.

I'm looking for ways to personalize all those phrases we hear all the time about the Savior. He died for us. He redeemed the world. He atoned for our sins. He saved us. I know why we say these things--because as Christians, we do believe he literally did them. It's difficult for me to remember how I used to feel when I thought of it though. Sometimes I feel like there's a blank in my mind when I try to recall. Like the rug is being pulled out from under my brain when I try to remember the spirit I used to feel. THIS is the largest reason I am going to church, why I'm part of religion. I have a Father, and a purpose. And a big part of that purpose hinges on understanding Christ's sacrifices for me.

Good luck to me! Haha :) I HOPE I have luck. And good luck to all of YOU this month. Be grateful for what you have.

Chicken Tikka Masala

Trevor got me an Indian cook book for Christmas and I've finally prepared enough to actually make something from it! It's kind of intimidating looking at all the steps and ingredients it takes to make an Indian dish. But for my first, I chose a pretty mild and simple dish. It was insanely good! I'll definitely be making it again, and trying out some others. So keep an eye out, if you're interested in cooking Indian food.

This recipe is for Chicken Tikka Masala. And I'd say, it's a great beginner's place to start, if you've never had Indian food. We're by no means experts. In fact, we're still relatively new at eating Indian food. But this is a great place to start if you're not sure you'd like Indian or are nervous about not being able to sleep after :) There are plenty of variations of this recipe, ranging in complexity. Feel free to explore your options of different spices you can add (like tumeric, garam masala, and ginger.

Here's what you need:

2 Tablespoons ghee (or vegetable oil)
1 red or green chili, minced
1 large garlic clove, minced
4 teaspoons paprika
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
pepper
3 cooked chicken breasts, cut into pieces (or a whole chicken)
1 1/4 cup heavy cream
14 ounce can diced tomatoes
cilantro

For coconut rice:
1 1/4 cup basmati (or jasmine) rice
2 1/4 cups coconut milk
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

To be more authentic, you should use tandoori cooked chicken instead of plain chicken. I'm going to make that soon, and I'll share the recipe later. But for this version, I used regular chicken so I wouldn't be too terrified to make it or eat it.

Also, ghee is clarified butter. Indian cooking uses a lot of this, because it's had the cream boiled off. You can make it yourself, or buy it (although, I haven't been able to find it yet). Using clarified butter in Indian cooking is important because you'll be cooking with high heat a lot, and the cream in butter smokes and burns at high temperatures. You can use vegetable oil as an alternative. I used regular butter in my dish and was careful to not let it burn but it's not incredibly authentic to do so.

I went to Ocean Mart on 115 West 9000 South to find spices and coconut milk (although you can find expensive coconut milk at regular grocery stores).

Begin your rice by rinsing it until the water runs clear. Soak the rice in water for 20-30 minutes.

Begin cooking your chicken in a separate pan if it's not cooked already; I cooked with salt and pepper.

In a large saute pan, mince up your chili and garlic, and stir fry in hot ghee for a couple of minutes until aromatic and tender. The chili that you use will determine how spicy your dish is. Stir in spices, salt and pepper, and cook for a minute or so to allow the flavors to mingle. Add the cream and tomatoes, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes or so until thickened. Add the chicken, and simmer for 5-10 minutes.

While your sauce and chicken are cooking, start cooking your rice. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a medium pot, and add rice. Cook on medium high, stirring, until the rice is coated. Add the coconut milk and stir; bring it to a low boil. Reduce heat to very low and cover. Do not remove the lid until all the liquid is absorbed, about 10-15 minutes. Fluff with a fork, and cover for a couple minutes after it's cooked.

Garnish your chicken with chopped cilantro if desired, and serve with rice.

Your house will smell like Indian food for a few days. Your belly will be thankful.

Sale Info

Hi Friends! I'm having a sale and it's really good; just thought you might want to know!

http://beckygreenphotography.blogspot.com/2012/01/just-because-40-off-sale.html

cake, chocolate: chocolatey cake

I've been craving chocolate cake for weeks. So we finally have an occasion to make a cake (and not have mounds of leftovers to ourselves). But it was probably the ugliest cake I've ever made. I'm being completely serious. I wish I'd taken a picture, because this thing was messed up.

We have two round cake pans, but one is 8 inches and the other is 9. I thought I could trim the larger one to fit the smaller layers... Not so easy. It was made of vanilla cake and chocolate cake (to appease Trevor), and both were new recipes. The vanilla cake stuck to the pan and tore completely in half. And I totally cut the chocolate layers all skiwampus. Needless to say, it looked terrible. The frosting got all infested with cake crumbs, my layers were all crazy, and we couldn't even cut it without it falling over. Oh, and before all of that happened, in the oven the chocolate cake boiled over onto the vanilla cake below it, and onto my oven, thus creating the second oven fire we've had since October.

But it was really tasty. I liked the chocolate cake recipe, so I thought I'd share it with you all.

http://www.foodess.com/2011/03/moist-chocolate-cake/

Next time I'm just gonna make it the way this lady says, and I'm gonna love it. In fact, I'm deeming this exact cake my birthday cake in five weeks.

Going back to church...

I decided I wanted to briefly write about a specific topic for a couple of reasons. I've been, like, 99% inactive at church for a couple years. My heart has been active, but my body has not, if that makes sense. I've usually kept this private, for probably obvious reasons, but after a lot of thinking, I decided I want to talk about it. It will be good for me to vocalize some of the things I've been feeling, as well as, maybe, hopefully, help others who may be in the same boat as me not feel alone. I've tried hiding my feelings so I would always have an out if things got too hard. I don't want that out anymore.

I've always felt fairly responsible and independent when it comes to my spirituality. I developed a real testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints over a period of time from age 12-18, which I firmly maintained. I held strongly to my testimony through thick and thin. I learned what I still believe is truth. I believe I received confirmation to my questions and doubts through the Spirit, and I don't think I'll ever be able to doubt what I've felt, even if I want to. I was endowed and sealed to my husband in the temple, and I'll always be thankful for the knowledge I gained and spirit I felt there. I believe it is what has kept me from lazily turning my back completely on everything I know is true.

I gradually became less active at church after a couple of years of marriage when there were less people to be accountable to, and when my husband became less active. Trevor's journey is his; this is mine. So I won't go much into his.

If you've ever gone to church, any church, you know what it's like to be faced with the task of being patient and kind to those who annoy you. This bothersome task, coupled with always being alone at church, is what initially started to keep me away. I continued to have a testimony in the gospel and knew what was right and wrong but I chose to ignore it and believed I could go back any time me and my husband were ready to go together. I gave up my callings. To avoid the pain of sitting through countless lessons and talks about eternal families, spiritual homes, and going to the temple with a spouse, I started to compartmentalize my priorities. In my mind, church became more painful than helpful. I knew I was letting it, but it wasn't worth not letting it.

Life goes on, surprisingly, when you don't go to church. Family still hangs out with you, work still happens, you still have goals, priorities, and standards to live by. We lead a life fairly close to that of a lot of Mormons--we don't drink or smoke, we try to be compassionate and giving, and have even gone through periods of time reading scriptures diligently or praying daily. I think that's why it's been so easy to just let things go for so long. I've become complacent, ignoring occasional bouts of sadness that my life lacks true spirituality and a closeness to God I used to have, preferring to focus my attentions on problems I felt were truly solvable, like sharing chores, starting a photography business, surviving unemployment, putting a spouse through college, and a whole bundle of good old regular marital issues like give-and take and sexual compatibility. It's easy to let everything else be the only problems you have to deal with. Why add something you don't need? See, when you're married, your lives become fused. You rely on each other for practically everything, even when you think you're independent. Even when one partner has a goal, it's nearly un-accomplish-able without the support of the other. We weren't ready to go back to church together, so I wasn't ready.

It's high time I say out loud I know that's not really true; it's not the right way to think about the whole situation.

Over the last few months, it's been harder and harder for me to ignore the hole in my life. It's more than just a conditioning I've had my whole life that now I'm without. I'm not the person I could be or want to be. And really, even though it seems like such a huge mountain to climb, I'm not that far away from where I'd like to be. And I can't keep pretending that my husband and I will one day be able to turn around "when we're ready."

I think only some of you will know what it means to actually admit that. It means I can't keep saying, "When we have kids, I'll go back," or "I'm not REALLY all that different than I used to be."

I knew I was further away from my last spiritual encounter than I thought, but last Sunday really proved it to me. Two weeks ago I decided I'd go. And some of you will know what it means to make a promise to yourself for which you have a week to think about before you act. As Sunday got closer, my resolve weakened, just as it has almost every other time I've determined to go. Everything was a reason not to go. All the hurting and loneliness I felt all those times sitting alone during Sacrament Meeting, or during Sunday School (or worse, sitting with a family who has perfect attendance) came back to me and reminded me why I don't go. The night before church was New Year's Eve, and I was up really late. The services started at 9:00 AM. I literally had to dust my scriptures before picking them up. And I really hate my church clothes.

I've gotten to this point several times over the last few years. I've even gone and survived a week or two in a row. But this time... I feel something different. I really feel that it won't be so hard to give up 3 hours every Sunday. I know there's more to it than that--there's the praying and the scriptures, and the tithing, the callings (Oh, gosh, the callings), the visiting teaching, and the being known only as the lady who plays the piano and sits alone. And let's face it, I really don't want to think about the possibility of giving up things like Dexter and super gory zombie movies.

I'm not worrying about those things right now though. I went to church last Sunday. And being the first of the new year, there was a lot of talk about goals, and what we'll be learning this year. We had the standard talk about The Book of Mormon being the keystone of our testimonies, and we read the Intro to the Book of Mormon. There were super annoying people in my class who wouldn't shut up about their off-topic tangents and cliche answers, and there were smelly-old-person-breath people and crying babies. And I almost WISHED that I wouldn't feel the spirit so I wouldn't have to be there. But my heart was open, and in contrast to the "remembered" feeling of church (that it's elitist, and driven by guilt, and not as potent as we think), I actually FELT church. I was reminded that the gospel is offered as hope, not as an exclusive club. And the root of that hope is Christ and The Book of Mormon. It doesn't matter what else I've forgotten, what else I'm confused about, or about what else I need reminding. I felt that hope again last week, and I can't deny it.

I've never led a life TOO far from what it should be, but it's been far enough that I've lacked daily and weekly reminders from the spirit that what I'm doing is right. I might have felt the spirit strongly on a monthly basis for various reasons--family get-togethers, conference, random bouts of praying or reading the Ensign, or joining in other family's prayers. But it just isn't the same as feeling it every week, and being reminded of my testimony on a daily basis.

I'm determined to make attending my weekly meetings a priority. I know I can't handle tackling all my faults at once, so I'm not going to stress out about everything at once. I need to get my mind and body in the routine of being there again. And I'm determined to not let my guilt and faults, or my responsibility to be an example to my spouse, consume my hope. I'm not ashamed of who I am. It's not about what I lack, it's about what I'm capable of.

I completely realize that to some people who read this, it's going to sound the same as all the other testimonies out there. I know exactly what you're thinking. But maybe my sharing this can give someone the courage to try again too. Courage... That's the word that stuck out to me during the sacrament hymn, and I've been thinking about it all week. Courage is what I need to ignore the easy route.

And silently we pray for courage to accept thy will, to listen and obey.

I'm thankful that we sing at church. It is the easiest way for me to feel the spirit of written words.

That's all for now, until next week, I suppose. I'm pushing "publish" and I promise I won't unpublish.

Chuck Wendig's Autumn Pasta

I'm about to share with you a pretty amazing pasta. Trevor reads the blog Terrible Minds by Chuck Wendig, and on there he occasionally writes recipes in the most hilarious but completely inappropriate ways. We made his original recipe, which you can find here, a few months ago, and it really did Autumn our effing faces off (as Chuck promised it would). The thing is though, Mr. Wendig likes to swear and talk about male genitalia while cooking a little more than I do (or, really, doing anything at all). So, for your eating enjoyment, I'm translating!

Trevor and I have dubbed this "Autumn Pasta," but just you try not to recite Chuck's real title in your head every time you want to make it. We tried Chuck's buttery rendition the first time, and then added much more cream because we just like our pastas creamier instead of buttery.

Here's what you need:

1/2 white onion, diced
2 tablespoons olive oil
salt
1 pound ground country sausage
salt and pepper
1-2 portabello caps, diced
1 finely grated carrot
2 jonathan apples, diced (or similarly tart apples)
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 pound spiral pasta, like rotini
1 stick unsalted butter
salt
2 cups half and half
1/8 teaspoon ground sage (or dried equivalent)
2 teaspoons fresh chopped rosemary
1-2 teaspoons thyme
crumbled walnuts (optional)

NOTE: Chuck's version uses 1/2 stick butter, and 2 tablespoons of cream. That's it. You can try it, but I think it's better this way :)

K. So.

Saute and soften the diced onion in olive oil, and sprinkle with salt. The salt helps to draw out the moisture in the onion, so do it! These babies should cook for at least 5 minutes.

While the onions are saute-ing, start chopping all your other stuff like apples, and mushrooms, and grate your carrot. I chop into little bite size pieces, but you could pretty much do any size you want. Grate the carrot super fine. Chuck says it's supposed to look like orange dirt. Yum.

A word on the apples: Make sure to choose something that will stand up to cooking and not totally lose it's firmness. I used Jonathan apples the first time and they were the best.

Add your sausage to the onions and cook away. Add salt and pepper.

 Right about now is when you start boiling a huge pot of water for your pasta. Remember to salt the water so it tastes like sea water, so your noodlies get some flavor too.

Once all your sausage is brown, add all the chopped stuff and carrot to the sausage and combine. 

Add the cider vinegar and get it all cooking for a couple minutes. The apples and mushrooms should start to get a little soft.

Okay, now just take a minute and smell that wonderful goodness you've created... Right here, you have two options: 1. Taste the sausage mixture and be amazed at the wonderful flavors you'e never tasted combined, OR 2. Just wait and taste it all together and be even more surprised and amazed at what is in your mouth :) You decide. 

 Keep an eye on your pasta so it doesn't over cook. It's okay to make it al dente so it can soak up some of the mind-blowing sauce you're about to make.

Belt the butter in a pan. Let it cook for like 5 minutes on medium until it gets browned and nutty. Don't burn it though.

Add your cream and spices. This is where my version differs from Chuck Wendig's. He says to add 2 tablespoons of some sort of cream, like sour cream, creme fraiche, or whatever. I say, add 2 CUPS of half-and-half (or any kind of cream, just as Chuck suggests). Chuck's version is buttery and delicious but makes not so delicious leftovers, and leaves a film in your mouth. My version is creamy and warm, and, let's just say it, perfect. 

Drain noodles, combine with sauce once it's been thickening for a few minutes.

Mmm. If you're brave, add a crap ton of herbs. Go wild. It tastes best with strong rosemary and sage flavors. My recipe says 2 teaspoons of rosemary and 2 teaspoons of thyme, but you could go a full tablespoon if you want. Just use the amount you like. Also, you can pretty much use whatever spices you want. I think rosemary and sage taste like fall though.

Get some noodles in a bowl, top with the sausage mix, and possibly walnuts, and prepare yourself for the awesomest autumn pasta ever.

EAT while watching TV and drink milk. Well, really, you can eat it wherever you want and drink whatever beverage you prefer; you'll love it just the same :) 

Holidays and Family 2011

So, these two photos are pretty much the extent of my 2011 holiday photos, haha :) I've been ignoring photographs for a while. Not really on purpose; I've just been too busy.

For Thanksgiving, I made that brined roasted turkey, and it turned out pretty great. I used someone else's oven, and it ended up taking a lot longer than last year. But it was still tasty. It made a pretty awesome turkey pot pie too. We had a late dinner with Trevor's family that day.

My family all came over for a get-together last night. We weren't able to be together on Thanksgiving, and won't all be in town for Christmas, so this was basically just a Holiday thing :) Sometimes I seriously consider getting rid of my giant dining room table for something smaller for just the two of us. Then occasionally I have 15 people over for dinner and I fall in love with it again! I made spaghetti sauce and let it simmer in a crock pot for like, 10 hours. It was pretty delicious, and I have leftovers I'm about to go eat for lunch later. YUM. 

Planning family get-togethers is seriously so stressful, but once everyone is actually there, I don't regret it. My grandma, mom, uncle, and my little brother came to Utah for a doctor visit, and my brother, his wife, and my niece came up from Cedar for something else. It was practically a miracle. There were still a couple people missing, but for the most part, it was practically the biggest reunion we've had all year. 

After dinner, Trevor and I went downtown to check out the lights with my brother and sister-in-law, and of course, my niece. Every time I see her, she is so much bigger and smarter, and cuter. Her hair has grown out, and it's all curly :) AND she remembered by name! I thought for sure she would be too shy or not remember my name very well since we only see them like 2 or 3 times a year. After a couple hours though, she started talking to me about the fish in our tank. We had a late night snack at Village Inn after. I got a waffle. That's kind of amazing. I never get waffles. But there's nothing like breakfast food at 11:00 at night. 

Here's us, being awesome. 

Here's Bella, scoping out the floaty lights.

She's definitely on her parents' sleep schedule. She was still ready to go at midnight :) 

Everyone might still be in town for a few days, so hopefully we get to see them all. I'll try to be more diligent about getting pictures. The new iPhone update makes it so easy since now you can just click the home button twice and use the volume button for the shutter.

Olives

If you've never tried real olives, you totally should. Over the weekend I tried a bunch of different kinds at the Whole Foods olive bar, and they were fantastic! I've always been a fan of plain old regular black canned olives. Like, incredibly so. But every time I've tried jarred green olives with pimento or greek olives in salad, I've been unimpressed. So I thought I just didn't like "real olives" and never bothered to try anything else.

But on Friday I did, and my olive world exploded! I asked the olive and cheese expert at Whole Foods to help me find a few REGULAR olives from their buffet of like 20 different varieties. I didn't want to try any crazy weird things. She directed me to several mild kinds which have changed my life. I was encouraged to sample by using tongs and a cup; I sampled the crap out of them. They tasted like your regular olive, only times that by a thousand.

The first thing I'm going to do with my new-found knowledge is add some sort of fancy olive mix to my usual cheese and crackers in December. (Oh my! It's December NOW :) Guess I get to go get some.) Every year I love to have all sorts of cheeses, assorted meats, and crackers for Christmas, and olives are TOTALLY joining the party.

To my knowledge, Harmon's and Smith's Marketplace also have olive bars. I smell a new habit forming.

Moral of the story. If you've never tried REAL olives, please do. Oh my gosh! I want some right now!

Heartburn is the bane of my existence.

Alton Brown's Roast Turkey

I'm obsessed with food. We all know it. I love to cook it, and I love to eat it. That's pretty much why all my posts have nothing to do with my day-to-day life, or how Trevor and I are doing with school and work, and whatnot. And it's basically why I'd rather make meatloaf than go to the gym. It's because I really just care about what I'm having for dinner tonight. You should be glad though, because I share some of my favorite recipes with you! And your kitchens are happier for it, I hope :)

That being said, this is a two way street, you know. I like it when people share their recipes with me too! So, please do. Tell me what you like or hate about the recipes I post, or send me better ones, or post them on your blogs. I love me some new recipes.

In honor of Thanksgiving next week, I want to share my new favorite turkey recipe. We tried it last year, and it was seriously the best turkey I've ever had in my life. I'm not kidding. At all. My grandma makes a mean turkey, with basting, and slow cooking, and moist goodness, but Alton Brown's Roast Turkey kicks my grandma's turkey's trash (sorry Grandma). Everyone at our Thanksgiving dinner last year loved this turkey. PLUS, it is incredibly fun to make!

I'm in charge of turkey again this year, and as I'm heading out to the store tomorrow to begin preparations, I thought I'd give you a heads up so you could have time to make it too!

You can check out Alton's recipe on foodnetwork, and watch his videos for tips and stuff, but I'll explain everything here too, plus a bunch of stuff you might miss if you haven't watched the episode of Good Eats. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/good-eats-roast-turkey-recipe/index.html

This recipe starts 3 days before Thanksgiving, by thawing your bird in the fridge. So I'll be starting on Monday.

Here's what you'll need:

• 1 (14 to 16 pound) frozen turkey

For the brine:

• 1 cup kosher salt
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 1 gallon vegetable stock (8 16oz cans)
• 1 tablespoon black peppercorns
• 1 1/2 teaspoons allspice berries
• 1 1/2 teaspoons chopped candied ginger
• 1 gallon heavily iced water
• 1 clean 5-gallon bucket

For the aromatics:

• 1 red apple, sliced
• 1/2 onion, sliced
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 cup water
• 4 sprigs rosemary
• 6 leaves sage
• Canola oil

Brine, you say? What the what? Don't worry, your turkey won't taste anything like the Great Salt Lake. A brine is actually a salt/sugar solution that you  use to soak your meat in like a marinade. Brining is basically like osmosis--after a few hours sitting in the salt water, your turkey will begin to absorb the water, taking in all the flavor of the brine with it. The flavors in the water begin to flow between the water and the turkey. Thus, your turkey meat actually begins to taste like your brine. So make it good!

Here's what you do:

1. MONDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING: Start thawing your bird in the fridge. I'm doing a 14-16 pound bird, and 3 days should do it. Even if it's still a little frozen on the big day, it's okay. (When you're picking your bird, allow at least 1 pound of turkey per person. All your turkey will get eaten. Do 1.5 or 2 pounds per person for leftovers. Consider two birds instead of one giant bird if you're worried about size.)
2. WEDNESDAY DAY:  Make your brine. Combine all your brine ingredients into a big pot, except the ice. Alton's recipe calls for candied ginger, but I didn't use it last year because I couldn't find it. You can use whatever ingredients you have. It's important to use kosher salt, as the measurements are made with kosher salt in mind. If you don't have it, you can use table salt, but remember to use less. A teaspoon of table salt contains more salt than a teaspoon of kosher salt because the grain is finer on table salt. (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/kosher-vs-table-vs-sea-salts/index.html) Dissolve the solids and bring to a boil. Cool and refrigerate. 
3. WEDNESDAY NIGHT: Begin brining your turkey. Combine the brine and 1 gallon of heavily iced water in your CLEAN food-safe 5-gallon bucket. Add your turkey (innards removed) breast-side down to your brine. Alton says to brine for 8-16 hours. I'd definitely go on the longer side. I start brining right before going to bed Wednesday night, and leave it in until I start the oven. So, more than 16 hours, but what the hey. Leave your sealed bucket somewhere cool, where the water will stay icy throughout the entire brine. I put mine on the porch, and I've heard garages are even better.
4. THURSDAY MORNING: Turn your turkey over in the brine, and continue to brine until you're ready to cook. 
5. THURSDAY DAY: Consider how long your turkey needs to roast. My 14-16 pound bird will take about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. For a 16-20 pound bird, add about 30 minutes, and so on. My family is eating at 6:00 PM, so I will preheat my oven at 3:00 PM to allow for resting time. PREHEAT your oven to 500 degrees. Yes, 500. REMOVE your turkey from the brine and rinse it off; pat dry with paper towels. Place your bird onto a cookie sheet topped with a wire rack. Tuck your birdy wings back or truss with string.
6. THURSDAY DAY: T-minus 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Start your aromatics. Microwave your cinnamon stick and cut up apple & onion in a cup or two of water for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, get yourself a square of aluminum foil and fold it into a triangle. Brush a little bit of oil onto one side of the foil, and fit it onto your turkey. You're making a sort of turkey breast shield that you will later use to protect the white breast meat from overcooking. Set your foil shield aside. Stuff your turkey with aromatics--apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and herbs. Coat your turkey with canola oil. 
7. THURSDAY: T-minus 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Roast your turkey at 500 degrees for 30 minutes. Use the lowest oven rack level. 
8. Reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees, cover your turkey with your foil shield, and put it back in. You can use a probe digital thermometer that stays in the turkey, alerting you when it reaches the right temperature-- or you can do what I do. LEAVE THE TURKEY ALONE FOR 2 HOURS or until it reaches 161 degrees. Check the turkey after two hours with your meat thermometer, and put it back in if it's not there yet. Be sure to check the thickest part of the turkey breast, and don't hit any bones with your thermometer. Don't trust the pop up thingy that comes in your turkey. It will over cook your white meat.
9. Your turkey is done when you hit 161 degrees.
10. Remove from the oven and rest, covered, while you do other stuff for 15 minutes or so.
11. CARVE :)

You're going to love this. The pepper/allspice brine adds a sweet/savory hint to the meat, and the aromatics lend their flavor throughout. The skin is crispy, the meat is juicy, and the white and dark meat are both properly cooked. 

You can buy me a Christmas present to say thank you ;)