Trevor and Me

I've been reading a lot about friends who are in love and happy, who are making families, who are new to families, and old to families. And it made me stop and think about my tiny half-a-family with Trevor, and how much I love him. When you don't have kids, it's easy to focus on yourself. It's easy to focus on the two individuals who are married, and BE individuals who are married. That's good, a lot of times, because I think every married couple needs time to be individuals and spend time getting to know each other as well as spend time together alone AFTER you already know each other. I'm looking forward to when we can expand our family, but today I spent a lot of time thinking about the family we are NOW. On a day-to-day basis we can get distracted by the dishes all over the counters, the dinner that needs to be made--the dinner that needs to be cleaned up, the towels that are all wet, used up, and dirty on the bathroom floor, the new cute basket in the bathroom I picked out that Trevor thinks is going to get moldy (but wouldn't get moldy if he would just not get it wet when he washes his hands), family parties, new gadgets, or miscellaneous cords for the tv/computer that will make our lives 10 times better. It's easy to focus on the long road ahead of Trevor and me before we have the money and time to begin the "life" we want to begin. YEARS before our debts are paid, YEARS before Trevor can finally go to school for what he wants. WHAT are we doing with our life in the meantime? Just waiting? It wouldn't be worth it if there wasn't an upside. Today I've been thinking about that upside. That I get to spend time developing my hobbies into talents that I can use to help myself and Trevor, and later my family. I can turn preparing food because I'm hungry into making dinner for Trevor and I to enjoy and relax with after a long day at work. We can spend time sitting next to each other under a blanket watching a movie, only interrupted by the need for more pudding cups. We can stay up late in bed talking, diving into the dreams and pains we have. I can turn over at night and be close to Trevor, and feel his arms wrap around me, and feel his hand find my hand, even though he's half asleep, to warm me up when we left the window open and Mother Nature decides she wants it to snow. I can count on Trevor wanting to say goodbye to me before I leave every morning, so we can let each other know we care, even if he only has 5 minutes more to sleep before his alarm clock makes him wake up. I can count on Trevor listening when I've had a bad day, or when I have an opinion about something that is different from everyone else's. I can count on Trevor to nudge me towards a goal I've set for myself, even if he doesn't want it.

Yep, we've got it pretty good right now, I think. Even though we feel like we may have lame goals, or too much time before we can feel like we've become active human beings progressing in life. I have Trevor, and he has me, and we can really take advantage of that. Even though it can sometimes feel like compared to other people, we got married to early, or we blew our money more than other people, or we are more extravagant than other people--there is a reason we love each other, and there are reasons we decided we love only each other, and those reasons still exist.